Them Haters Gonna Hate And What You Can Do About It Right Now

Before Taylor Swift popularized the phrase Haters Gonna Hate, the 2000s-era female R&B group 3LW originated the term in their song Playas Gon’ Play. And this particular sentiment aptly applies to what all communicators must face every time they stand before an audience.

In fact, I had a recent experience that illustrates the advice I typically share with readers who often ask me how they can overcome their fear of being judged. Here’s my brief story…

You Cannot Avoid Being Judged

I host an annual online event called the Wright Society Virtual Summit for Frank Lloyd Wright enthusiasts. Every year we receive hundreds upon hundreds of glowing emails from attendees about the event. We even received a 95% satisfaction on our post-event survey this year.

Here’s a sample of what some of them said—specifically about my interview/hosting skills…

Bryan is a fantastic host, asking insightful questions while allowing the guest speakers to fully elaborate.

Bryan is an excellent interviewer. All the participants seemed at ease because of his ability and that allowed them to share very valuable information.

Bryan’s intelligence, enthusiasm and obvious love of the subject brought out the best in the interviewees.

Bryan’s interviewing skills are top-notch!

Bryan does an excellent job of leading the conversation and drawing out interesting information from all of the guest experts.

However, there’s always detractors. The cranks who have nothing better to do than spew venomous criticism that can hurt the thin-skinned.

Here’s a sampling of what some of the haters specifically said about me…

It looks like Bryan needs a little more sun.

Note from Bryan: What can I say, I’m a fair skin, Irish-Italian-American with jet black hair…but this was pretty hilarious!

The questions Bryan asks the interviewees are too long winded.

Bryan focuses way too much on questions when the whole point for us is just to hear the interviewees talk. Period.

If I see another interview with Bryan where the camera is directed towards a window, I am going to throw my computer into the nearest lake!

What To Do About It

The bottom line is that no matter what—you’re always going to have haters. Accept it as fact and instead focus on the 95% of people who love what you’re doing. Do not become paralyzed by those that want to tear you down.

Instead listen to feedback from the ones who resonate with the effort and passion you put into communicating your message. That will provide all the encouragement and resilience you need to keep going.

It sounds easier that it actually is, but believe me—over time you’ll become more thick-skinned and capable of repelling comments from the haters.

I actually love to see those types of comments come in now because it gives me a massive laugh—especially when comparing the few hate mails to the massive pile of love letters! You truly see how ridiculous people can be.

Keep your chin up and just do you!

Remember that authenticity always trumps perfection and polish every time (despite what my friends at Toastmasters might tell you).


Have you had a similar experience that shook your confidence? If so, what happened? Share your answer on Twitter or Facebook.


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